Tuesday, November 30, 2010

So I Noticed That "Relationship" Is An 'R' Word..

I was originally going to just write about the Semesterly Slump that occurs near the end of the semester, after which you lack all motivation[if you were even motivated before it] and you just vegitate until school concludes. But no.

I realized that, out of all my posts so far, I don't believe I've touched upon relationships. And that was surprising, because that's something that I've had many a discussions on and many ideas about. Relationships are something I think I'm...qualified to talk about? Actually, I'd rather go with experienced. I'm pretty sure everyone who knows me has joked atleast once about my inability to remain single. Pretty sure bets have been made about how long I can ride solo. <_<

So yeah. And let me clarify, I'm not incapable of being single. It's not an emotional/relational deficiency I suffer from. It's preferential and coincidental. I'm sure people who are living it up single-style and going crazy are content with their arrangement and couldn't comprehend the appeal of a relationship. Likewise, as someone who has experienced fulfilling relationships and is currently involved in one[quite happily at that], I don't see why anyone wouldn't want a relationship. I mean, when you have a healthy and happy relationship where you truly feel emotionally/affectionately secure--I don't see what else could bring you down. And I say coincidental, because contrary to what most people believe, I don't actively go seeking a new girlfriend after every break-up. It just so happens that not too much time has to be spent waiting around, before an awesome, amazing, compatible, and quality girl happens to come into my life. And I don't know why I wouldn't see where things go. I mean, I'm not just settling for the next broad that walks around the corner, I believe the girls I'm referring to were very fitting for me and that's what's so odd. Oh well, I'm very hap with ths arrangement, hinthint winkwink, I'm talking about you!

But I digress, I think I'm going to only write about one aspect of relationships tonight. But seeing as I really enjoy this topic, I look forward to writing more about other facets.

To transition into what I want to focus on tonight, I'm going to look to one of the greatest minds of the century, a true relationship expert:
"Be the change that you want to see in the world."
 -Mohandas Gandhi
Ok, I lied. He's not exactly a renowned relationship expert. But he was onto something! I think there a lot of times in any relationship, where things kind of become...stagnant. And both parties involved maybe feel like everything is stale. Or maybe one person doesn't feel the other is as vocal or affectionate to them anymore. Perhaps someone feels overlooked and underappreciated. These are all common issues that I've faced, from both perspectives, and I know others have experienced. Or maybe, you're just sitting there hoping __________ will suddenly become spontaneous and exciting and re-kindle the hurricane of emotions and romance that was there at the start. Unfortunately, a lot of times the reason said person doesn't do what you expect/want isn't just an intentional act of spiting you. Many times, it's simply a result of ignorance and lack of awareness.

That's where my iconic brown man comes in! And I promise, this doesn't involve having to passively accept any physical harm in an act of civil disobedience! No, instead, you have to be that change you're looking for in your significant other. On that note, if you want your girlfriend/boyfriend to make you feel loved/special, maybe you need to do it first. The other way to approach this, would be to subtly/not-so-subtly tell them, but I think you should atleast try this method first. By doing so, you'll instill the appreciation and satisfaction that you're yearning for, in them, while being an awesome SO. And when they feel that way, I'd like to think that they'll turn around and look to reciprocate. AND THAT, is exactly what we were hoping for. I'd also like to suggest, that when they do reciprocate whatever you wanted them to, make sure to help them realize how thankful/appreciative/special you feel/how much you like it. Again, I may be making assumptions, but in my experience, most good SO's will want to repeat said event/thing for the sake of your happiness.

I also heed you not to stubbornly sit tight and anticipate the other member of your couple to figure out for themselves and act first. This is a dangerous mindset to take and is turning what's supposed to be a caring, selfless, and nurturing relationship into one that may devolved into an arduous, chore-like, and tiring relationship.

And for those of you reading this, try to think about this while you're at it, what can you do to make your SO happier? What is something you don't do enough? Say enough? What can you do differently? What is something, as small or silly as it may be, that you know will be appreciated? It can be something as miniscule as telling them how you admire/enjoy a certain characteristic about them without provocation. Enjoy. I hope this wasn't too all over the place.

Relationship Tip #1: As nice as holidays and birthdays are, gifts/compliments/acts of love are exponentially better without a reason. So go say something or do something nice, just cause. =D

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